Friendships – A View from the Dentist’s Chair, part I
July 15, 2010
The novelist and scholar C.S. Lewis once said: “Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” Recently, I’ve begun to give more credence to building and maintaining friendships than I have for a long time… maybe ever.
Fortunately, it’s made easier thanks to the Internet. As of the writing of this post, I have been blessed with over 200 Facebook friends between my two pages. Some are individuals I’ve been friends with “forever”, others are those whom I’ve met once or twice, a few are people who “found” me after we’d been absent from one another’s lives, and many are patients from my Kansas City dental practice.
I know a lot of business people, including cosmetic dentists like me, resist making meaningful friendships with customers. They feel as though that invisible barrier between the public and private must never be crossed; but in creating this kind of wall, are they perhaps missing incredible opportunities?
I’m sure you know me well enough to realize that I do not fear the unknown. I am not afraid to call a patient a friend and get to know him or her; consequently, I’ve been encouraging my team members to boldly go where no cosmetic dentistry team has gone before (with apologies to Star Trek for lifting their intro!) This means giving them the green light to move beyond an acquaintance relationship with our clients if they so desire and move into the realm of friendship building.
Of course, this will have some major ramifications. All change does. So in the next blog post, I’d like to discuss some of the short-term and long-haul results that turning patients into friends can have.
Until then, I encourage you to connect and reconnect with people… you never know when a true friendship may arise!
John
When Cosmetic Dentistry and Fear Collide
May 20, 2010
It’s not an uncommon scenario:
A potential patient comes to me, desperate for a new smile. Maybe he wants to investigate getting porcelain veneers… maybe she wants to learn about whitening procedures… regardless of the exact method about which they are curious, they all have one thing in common. They want a change.
Best of all, they are excited about the change! They’re tired of sitting back and doing nothing. They want to use cosmetic dentistry to change them forever. It’s thrilling for everyone – the patient, me, my team.
But then comes the fear.
What fear am I talking about? It’s the Fear of the Unknown. And it begins to plant its toxic seeds into patients who begin to wonder what a new look will mean for them. Will they have to change their personalities to fit their new smiles? Will the procedure cause them to seem like someone they’re not? Will they even like their grin after it has been perfected?
This is perfectly human, this desire to retreat into the shadows and never take steps forward. But cosmetic dentistry is a whole different ballgame! When it comes to giving someone a renewed smile, I’ve never seen anything but positive outcomes!
Fear of the unknown is a given when dealing with people. Yet it should never stop someone from looking or feeling his or her best. That’s one of the reasons my team and I spend so much time getting to know our clients. They know they can trust us.
And in the end, when they see their new smile, any fear they had instantly melts into joy. It’s a wonderful moment to behold!
It’s Spring… So Why Not Celebrate?
May 3, 2010
The birds are chirping. The sun is shining. The days are longer. Yet many people who come to visit me at my Kansas City practice are still struggling with the “blahs” (probably left over from winter doldrums!)
Though I cannot erase all their worries, I feel my role is to mitigate their concerns as much as I can in my capacity as a cosmetic dentist and someone who is a missionary for life and people. For one individual, that could mean making his smile gleaming white. For another person, it could mean turning her mouth into a picture-perfect grin.
If you’ve been feeling down in the dumps, I encourage you to take some proactive steps to help yourself. None are radical, nor do they have to be expensive. But all will get you to a happier place.
- Help someone less fortunate than you. Doing so has a way of changing your perspective dramatically.
- Pinpoint areas where you can make a positive change in your life. Would it behoove you to return to school? Take piano lessons? Organize your home? Get into shape?
- Exercise every day. I’m not talking about losing weight here – I’m talking about maintaining a healthy lifestyle. If you’ve been a “couch potato”, it’s time to get outside.
- Write a thank you note… to yourself. Sounds hokey, doesn’t it? Try it anyway. Thank yourself for something (past or present or even future). While you’re at it, you can send someone else a thank you, too!
- Educate yourself regularly. Abraham Lincoln claimed to learn something new from every stranger he encountered. Try it for yourself. You’ll be shocked at how wisdom awaits!
You have the power to change a lot in your life. Get on with it and do what you need to do. I have faith that you’ll end up where you are supposed to be.
Spring Clean Your Life!
March 16, 2010
The days are longer, the sun shines brighter and the temperatures are rising – spring is in the air!
This time of year fills many people with a sense of renewal and rebirth; for some, that manifests itself in an activity that is widely known as “spring cleaning”.
Loved by those who crave an organized existence (and loathed by the kids who would rather be outside on their bikes than indoors cleaning out their closets!), spring cleaning is a ritualistic act of rejuvenation.
Let me suggest that this year, you take your spring cleaning one step further.
I’m talking about spring cleaning your life!
How do you go about doing this? I’ve developed a five step plan that I think will be a terrific starting point:
Step One: Get Back to the True YOU
Have you ever felt like you’ve gotten away from who you REALLY are? You know – that person who is the leader, the supporter, the mentor, the optimist, the good friend? It’s time to reconnect with him or her!
Step Two: Ditch the Toxicity from Your Life
If you’re surrounding by toxins, what happens? You start absorbing them (whether literally or figuratively). To spring clean your life, you have to rid yourself of all the toxic stuff that comes your way.
Step Three: Free Yourself from Past Regrets
It’s time to let go of regrets. We all have ‘em, we all hate ‘em and we all should forgive ourselves. Move forward and think before you speak, consider before you act and pray before you make a major decision that will affect you and those you love.
Step Four: Be grateful!
What are you grateful for? Is it that you got up in the morning? Is it that you have a wonderful family? Is it that your smile is FINALLY the way you’ve always thought it should be? Practice having gratitude daily and your attitude will change tremendously!
Step Five: Try Something New
Haven’t done anything new in a while? It’s time! Take a dance class (even if you have two left feet!), read a book a week, tutor a kid in your neighborhood. Get out there and challenge yourself! You’ll feel amazing!
John
What Leaders Are… And What They Aren’t
March 2, 2010
You’ve probably met many leaders throughout your lifetime. I know I have. They come in all shapes, sizes, ages and ethnicities. In fact, a 5-year-old kindergartener can be as much of a leader as a 50-something business owner.
So what makes a leader and how can you tap into your leadership potential?
First, it’s important to recognize what leaders ARE NOT. Doing so, we can get all the myths and misconceptions out of the way. For instance, leaders are not any of the items below:
- Leaders are not leaders all the time.
- Leaders are not dictators. There’s a huge difference. (Dictators are, at their very cores, insecure.)
- Leaders are not created by titles. (Call yourself expert, guru, president, Sherpa, whatever – that won’t make you a leader.)
- Leaders are not cruel.
- Leaders are not leading just to gain exposure, finances or power.
Whew! Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about what leaders ARE:
- Leaders are learners.
- Leaders are supporters.
- Leaders are innovators.
- Leaders are observers.
- Leaders are promoters.
- Leaders are humble.
- Leaders are fallible.
- Leaders are mature.
- Leaders are capable of leading in almost any situation.
- Leaders are willing to get out of the way when it makes sense.
So how can you start maximizing your leadership abilities?
In every situation where you’re called upon to be a leader (or you could show leadership skills), evaluate your reasons for taking charge before moving forward.
In other words, contemplate WHY you’re leading. Is it for you, for others… or a mixture of both? Will you be willing and able to take a backseat role if doing so makes sense? Are you able to gracefully accept the criticisms of being the front person?
Every one of us can be a leader in a variety of situations and heaven knows we need more leaders in our world! Take a chance and show your strength of character and conviction today.
John
Rules Of Thumb, Rule #1 FEAR!
February 26, 2010
This book by Alan Webber is a must read for business people:
Rules of Thumb: 52 Truths for Winning at Business Without Losing Your Self
(Pay particular attention to Rule #1!)
3 Butterfingers candy bars. A gift from a patient.
In this video I talk to you “Smilers” about how fear affects our lives and prevents us from the potential of great joy and rewards. I also share a story about a young man who overcame his personal fear and challenged himself with cosmetic dentistry that will change his life.
Enjoy the video!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co44e8jodMQ
Love Yourself… And Others – Do a Good Deed Today!
February 11, 2010
It’s almost Valentine’s Day – February 14th. For most people, it’s the ideal opportunity to show affection and goodwill in some way, shape or form.
This year, I’m going to do something a little extra special, but not for my amazing wife, my incredible family or my talented staff. I’m going to do something, instead, for myself.
I can hear your reaction: “Wait, John! That’s selfish!” But I assure that it’s not. Let me explain…
In order to do something that makes me feel good, I’m going to do something that makes someone else feel good. In other words, I’m going to do a “good deed”. It’s a term we hear bandied about very little these days, and it’s time that we brought it back into our vernacular.
Why does doing a good deed help you in the process? It’s all based in the concept of reaching out to reach inward. In other words, the more often you look outside of your own needs, the closer you get to who you really are.
And the happier you become.
For instance, if it’s snowing like crazy outside (as happened recently in parts of the northeastern United States), I can shovel my sidewalk and then go inside. What have I learned from the experience? That snow is heavy and it’s hard work to move it from point A to point B! But have I done anything special? Have I really done a “good deed”?
(Now, I suppose you could tell me that I did a good deed in terms of shoveling the walk and driveway for anyone who would need to pass through. However, I really had little choice in the matter; it was a necessity.)
In the end, I would wind up learning very little about myself and would probably not get much from the experience at all.
Yet if I go just a little bit outside myself and do something special, like helping a neighbor with his or her shoveling, too, I’ve turned a rather unexciting occurrence into a chance to do a good deed. In doing so, I’ll probably learn something about myself and wind up feeling satisfied that I was able to impact someone’s life in a small, but nonetheless meaningful, way.
That’s the power of a good deed done with a clean heart and no expectation of quid pro quo.
This weekend, the weekend of cupid, I encourage you to do one good deed. It doesn’t have to be major and it doesn’t have to take much time. It just has to come from a desire to move past your comfort zone a bit and make something easier for another human. I guarantee you’ll get more out of your good deed than you ever imagined possible… and it’ll be a Valentine’s gift to yourself that you can carry for the rest of your life.
In the meantime, I’d like to hear about a good deed you did lately… or even one you did a while ago that makes you smile.
Don’t be shy! I love to hear your comments and I try to respond promply to every one!
John
Are You Ready to Become a Lexus?
February 1, 2010
Not so long ago, I had the privilege of helping a young man who is the service department manager for a Lexus dealership.
Now, I say that “I” had the privilege, but I’d be more accurate to say our team had the privilege. Really, it was they who gave him the treatment and care beyond the cosmetic dentistry expertise I provided.
They are the ones who were fully committed to making him feel like the important person he is. And they did their jobs very, very well… in fact, they did them so well that when he came back to our practice a few months later, he told me an amazing story.
In a nutshell, he explained that his experience with our cosmetic dentistry office made him reevaluate the service concept at his dealership. I was blown away! This was someone who was a part of a terrific Lexus dealership that I had previously visited. I thought they were doing a pretty good job, but he obviously felt they could do better after the way he was received at our office.
Now, I’m not going to take credit for this. Our team operates as a cohesive unit. Every single person is dedicated to providing superior service. We constantly improve and grow, and that includes everyone – especially me! Really, it’s the right thing – the only thing – to do.
So my question for you is:
Are you treating your interactions with others – clients, friends, family members, strangers – with a “Lexus” attitude?
If the answer is “yes”, I applaud your initiative. If it’s “no”, you’re missing an amazing opportunity to surpass your own (and others’) expectations.
John
The Best of Customer Service… The Worst of Customer Service
January 20, 2010
We’ve all had them – customer service experiences that stand out in our minds.
They typically fall into one of two categories:
1. Absolutely incredible, knock-your-socks-off, tell-everyone-you-know occurrences that made us pledge to always support the business that showed us we really do matter to them.
2. Incidents that left us open-mouthed in horror with our heads shaking and our stomachs churning.
Ironically, neither one of these types of customer service happens by mistake.
In the first instance, which I’d call exceptional customer service, a precedent has usually been set to allow incredible experiences to happen. Employees have been given the power to make decisions, the workplace ambiance is uncluttered and pleasant, and every person is treated with respect.
The second instance – awful service – doesn’t magically appear out of nowhere, either. Let’s face it – it’s unlikely for consumers to be overwhelmed by service from a company that treats its people like chattel, maintains an atmosphere of “we’ll do it when we feel like it” and/or refuses to embrace the importance of the customer. Typically, those kinds of organizations are known for bad customer service, as well they should be.
In my cosmetic dentistry practice, my team and I continually strive to be in the first category of customer service! However, I know that’s not always the case when it comes to members of my profession who haven’t been encouraged to take their customer service to the next level. That’s one of the reasons I “take it on the road” and speak to groups about creating an environment of excellence in their offices.
During my speaking engagements, I often tell anecdotes, so I’d like to invite you to share your best… and worst… customer service experiences in the comments section. Please don’t name any names – the incident is more important than where it took place.
Let’s see if we can find some common threads in what makes consumers come back for more as opposed to what makes them flee a business forever! And I’ll help spread the word among colleagues as to what makes you coming back again and again!
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts,
John
What Are Your 2010 Life Improvement Goals?
January 11, 2010
In my post from January 4th, I emphasized the need for every one of us to think about starting a life improvement project. It can be small… it can be large… it can be simple… it can be complex… but regardless of the way you set about to improve your life this year, I want you to make sure it’s yours.
No one can share your deepest dreams. Sure, other people can have dreams that are similar. And you can have certain goals that pertain to your spouse, your family or your friends… but you should have at least one life improvement goal that is 100% your own.
I actually have several very personal life improvement project aims for 2010. They are incredibly important to me and I’m expecting they will change the way I act and react to individuals and situations in the new year and beyond. I’d like to share my top three with you because I want to ensure the accountability that I know you’ll provide!
My top life improvement goals are:
1. Relevancy in all that I do. This includes interactions with my patients, relationships with my family members and relationships in general. If I pay attention to what is relevant to others (not just what is relevant to me), I can create value for them.
2. Making sure I provide experiences that are unique and impactful. In terms of my cosmetic dentistry practice, this will mean taking the next step in customer service.
3. Being transparent in all my experiences and relationships. I believe being honest is the only way to guarantee integrity.
At this point, I’d like to invite you to share your life improvement goals in the comments section. You can sign your real name or remain anonymous. That we know who you are isn’t as important as the fact that you’re writing down your life improvement goals, which will make them more apt to become a reality.
John
